We all know people who have a certain magnetism and charisma. What is it exactly that makes them so compelling?

My guest today explores that question in his book Compelling People: The Hidden Qualities That Make People Influential, and primarily locates the answer in two such hidden qualities: strength and warmth. His name is Matthew Kohut and today on the show he explains why it is we find the combination of strength and warmth so attractive in others, and how we can cultivate these traits ourselves, including in the way we dress, carry ourselves, and talk. Matt then gives advice on how to display strength and warmth in different situations we might find ourselves in, from acing a job interview to managing a crisis at work. We end our conversation with that most perennial question of body language: what to do with your hands when you speak.

Show Highlights

  • The relationship between strength and warmth in charisma 
  • Why do we respond positively to strong people?
  • What does it mean to be “warm”? 
  • Are there downsides to warmth? 
  • How to assess your own warmth-strength meter 
  • The matrix of how the relationship between these two qualities play out in real life 
  • How context determines whether to display more warmth or strength (and how to figure it out)
  • The importance of your posture and appearance 
  • Conveying strength when you aren’t physically large/imposing 
  • The value of non-verbals: our smile, eye contact, etc. 
  • Cultivating “unconscious competence”
  • Showing vs telling that you understand people 
  • What do you do with your hands when speaking?

Resources/People/Articles Mentioned in Podcast

Connect With Matthew

KNP Communications website

Matthew on Twitter

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Read the Transcript

Coming soon!

The post Podcast #540: How to Be a More Compelling Person appeared first on The Art of Manliness.

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